Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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