Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
