i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
