Do you still have your period?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
