dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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