if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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