did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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