12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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