i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
