bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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