I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
