the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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