he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
youre lurking in front of me
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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