so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
