I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
