I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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