I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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