So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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