North Korea, Best Korea!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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