We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So vagazzling was a success
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
