Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
