Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
