It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
