After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize