Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
