Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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