dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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