Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
