What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
