cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
