i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
