happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
