the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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