I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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