i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
