Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize