if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
