i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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