But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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