i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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