a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I want to fling myself into the sun
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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