a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
