I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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