What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
