Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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