I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
