FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i out mim tonsoeep
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
