My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
we're so committed to being not committed
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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