yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
