I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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