my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize