There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Boobs speak an international language.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
