I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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