Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize