I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize