I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You've changed since you got that strap on
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize