I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
