So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize