I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
